Am I Abusing My Partner?
You may think your behavior is normal or that you and your boyfriend or girlfriend just fight a lot, but you could be abusing them. This is true even if you have never hit them. Here are some questions to help you decide:
With your boyfriend or girlfriend, do you:
- Call them names or put them down?
- Embarrass them in front of other people?
- Check up on them through text messages or phone calls to see where they are or who they are with?
- Tell them what kind of clothes or make up they can and can't wear?
- Keep them away from their friends and family? Insist you spend all your time together?
- Have to know where they are and who they are with all the time?
- Get angry if you can't reach them?
- Threaten to hurt them? Their friends? Family? Pets?
- Force them to do things? Alcohol? Drugs? Sex?
- Tell them the abuse is their fault?
- Threaten to hurt yourself or others if they break up with you?
Has This Happened To You?
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you might want to speak to a counselor at your school, talk to your parents or another trusted adult (like a teacher or coach), or call your local domestic violence program; NYS Domestic and Sexual Violence Hotline at 1-800-942-6906 (English) or 1-800-942-6908 (Spanish), to talk with someone there about dating abuse.